The Cost of Peace: Everyone Can’t Have Access to You

The Cost of Peace: Everyone Can’t Have Access to You

Posted on By Sunni Denson

You ever notice how the older we get, the quieter life feels?
We look around and think, "Where my girls at?" 

Not because we’ve lost them...or, maybe we have.

Or maybe our peace came with a price, and it’s usually access.

Look, I know it's "Friendsgiving Season" but, I’ve been thinking a lot about how hard it can be to protect your peace without feeling like you’re pushing some of your girlfriends away. But sometimes, choosing yourself means letting go of the noise. It’s not pride. It’s wisdom or what my husband would call it: "God Wisdom."

And even though it can feel like loneliness, it's really not, it's alignment.

Sometimes we give so much of ourselves away, our time, our energy, our peace because we want to show up for everyone. But lately, I’ve been learning that showing up doesn’t mean being available to everything and everyone. We've all heard about the power of saying "no" but sometimes going the extra mile and remembering that peace isn't just about what we say no to...it's about what we no longer explain.

You can love people deeply and still protect your space.
You can be kind and still have boundaries.
You can be strong without being accessible to everyone who wants your time and energy.

The hard part, especially as we get older as women, is that this kind of awareness can make our world feel smaller.

It’s not that you don’t love your people, it’s that peace costs too much to let just anyone disrupt it, and honestly as we grow and mature, it's almost inevitable that there will be a shift in your circle. And truthfully, that can impact your ability to form new friendships. From moving this summer to a whole different place further away from loved-ones, and trying to build a new tribe and join a newer community, I've found this to be more true now than ever before.

Yes! Of course, sometimes friend circles get smaller from life changes like marriage, having kids, moving away, but what is also true is that when you start valuing your peace, your circle shifts.
It gets quieter.
Wiser.
More intentional.

It’s not a bad thing, though.
It just means that your energy has become selective and that your heart finally knows what feels safe, what feels reciprocated, and what no longer does.  Because as life gets fuller, boundaries stretch wider. And that’s okay.
It’s not loneliness. It's clarity.

If you’ve been feeling the same way lately, this is your reminder:
Protecting your peace might make your circle smaller, but it’ll make your life fuller.

Because not everyone deserves access to you, and that’s okay!

P.S. Listen, there is a fine line between creating boundaries and isolation and sometimes, I've had to check myself and make sure I'm not just retreating to stay safe, but actually creating space for connection as well. 

If you've felt that too, leave a comment below or comment 'Yes'. We're all trying to figure out this grown- woman balance.

>> These thoughts always find their way into what I create and design. If you're curious, you can see the stories behind our latest designs here →. <<

1 comment

  • Jocelyn Vanegas : November 17, 2025
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    I just stumbled upon this blog for the furst time!! Very insightful! Love this!!

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