As of late, I have been on this journey of self-rediscovery alongside a designer-mentored community. I originally joined this community to learn from other designers. I wasn't expecting it to be therapeutic nor take me on a journey that would force me to rediscover who I am to the very core. And, after a whole lot of reflecting and peeling apart the layers of my soul, guess what I discovered?
One thing I discovered that as a child growing up, most often then not, I felt like I wasn't heard. And even more, unseen as well. For, some of you that know me, you're probably asking, "How could that be when you were the only child?" Because, the very definition of being the "only child" is being the "focal point" in your family, right? Well...that wasn't always the case. But then I pose this question to you: "Being seen isn't always being heard and vice-versa, right?"
In my generation, we were brought up being told that "children should be seen and not heard". That had to be the most popular parenting adage of our era. In as early as the 15th century, young women were expected to keep quiet, to be seen and not heard.
Today, as a 44-year old self-employed mother to a beautiful and bright 4 1/2 year-old son, wife to an attorney-at-law, daughter to a widowed mother, sister-friend to many, I find myself back at the beginning searching for my authentic person, finding my inner voice, literally laying the foundation down all over again and getting more clarity on my purpose.
Now, I'm finding that not only have my core values changed since becoming a wife, a "new" mom and a small business owner, I'm discovering that those values that I once compartmentalized between personal and business, are now one and the same.
In a world filled with noise, comparison, and unrealistic expectations, finding your inner voice, your authentic self and personal style, then embracing all of those things can feel like embarking on a journey of self-discovery and empowerment. Well...that's because it is! And, this journey is ever ongoing, beautiful, frightening, eye-opening, humbling and necessary.
It's about more than just how you look to others; it's about searching within yourself and embracing who you truly are, being your authentic self, holding yourself accountable and expressing that to the world with confidence.
So, you're probably asking yourself, how can I find my authentic self and embrace my inner voice?
Well, for me, I first had to understand that God wasn't going to help me become somebody else. That my gift and my purpose was unique to me and couldn't be shared with others if they didn't come from the authentic version of myself.
Your inner voice is the essence of your authentic self. It's the thoughts, beliefs, and values that guide you through life. However, in a society that often imposes cultural standards and common norms, it's easy to lose touch with your inner compass.
Here are some steps to help you reconnect with and amplify your inner voice:
1. **Mindfulness Practices**: Take time for self-reflection, journaling, praying and meditating, reading scripture and positive affirmations with due diligence are great mindfulness activities. This allows you to quiet external influences and listen to your inner thoughts and feelings and tap into your relationship with God.
2. **Explore Your Passions**: Engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Whether it's art, music, writing, or any other passion, these pursuits can help you connect with your true self and what truly matters to you.
3. **Set Boundaries**: Learn to say no to things that don't align with your values or goals. Setting boundaries is crucial for preserving your energy and staying true to yourself.
4. **Seek Authentic Connections**: Surround yourself with people who support and uplift you. Authentic relationships provide a safe space for your voice to be heard and validated.
Ok! So, now you are probably asking, how do I find my personal style?
Personal style goes beyond fashion trends; it's a reflection of your personality, preferences, and individuality.
Here are some tips to help you define and embrace your personal style:
1. **Self-Expression Through Fashion**: Experiment with different clothing styles, colors, and accessories that resonate with you. Don't be afraid to mix and match to create looks that feel authentic. You don't always have to follow the viral trends or succumb to "fast fashion" unless it reflects with who you are.
2. **Discover Your Signature**: Identify elements or pieces that make you feel confident and comfortable. Whether it's a favorite accessory, a specific color palette, or a particular silhouette, owning a signature style can boost your self-expression.
3. **Reflect Your Lifestyle**: Your personal style should align with your lifestyle and activities. Consider practicality and comfort without compromising your unique flair.
4. **Stay Open to Evolution**: Personal style evolves as you grow and experience new things. Embrace change and allow your style to reflect your journey and personal growth.
Listen, I am still learning about myself and growing at the same time. This is a long-game and I'm in it for the long-haul. In re-learning who I am now and embracing my authenticity, it's hard to foster new authentic connections with other like-minded women that can embrace this "new you". I think joining communities help remedy this dilemma but I'm always open to more suggestions.
Leave a comment below about your personal journey to finding your inner voice and personal style and embracing your authentic self.